KAS NAIDOO
THERE are two ways to find love – consciously or by default.
The default way is that we expect to meet someone, feel an instant attraction, fall in love and live happily ever after.
Most relationships fail because we go in with high expectations of the other.
Initially, when you’re falling in love, you see only the very best in each other. Often we see what we want to see and ignore the red flags.
After we get married, we shift our focus to what we expect from a partner, and that’s when the disappointment and conflict starts. For the couples that experience that, unfortunately 53% will get divorced.
That’s catastrophic, and tells us we have to find a better way!
The conscious way is not looking or searching for love. It’s about becoming the person who attracts love. It means doing the inner work to become that person – a person who is in love with themselves and their life; a person who is happy within themselves and feels whole and complete. In this state you are no longer attracting someone to complete you, but someone to build a life with.
When we love ourselves, we exude confidence and a higher standard for ourselves, which makes us more attractive to others. We become radiant and visible to that amazing partner that you've been looking for.
Also, when we love ourselves, we are able to set healthy boundaries. Without self love, we allow people to be rude to us, talk down to us, be abusive, whether physically or psychologically.
When we love ourselves we are able to communicate openly, state what we allow and do not allow from other people and make decisions that align with our values and the life we envision for ourselves. This leads to healthier and more sustainable relationships, as we will not settle for less than we deserve.
Think about someone you love unconditionally – your child, best friend or even a pet. We love and protect them; we want only the best for them and we accept them completely. Imagine feeling that way about yourself. You will show people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself.
The practice of self-love enables you to give and receive love in a more authentic way. We are less likely to rely on external validation or someone to fill a void within ourselves. Instead, we are able to enter relationships from a place of wholeness and self-awareness.
Self-love is crucial for attracting the love of your life. So, take some time to focus on yourself and your own self-care, healing and growth, and watch how your self-worth and confidence soars. You will become a magnet to your ideal partner, and will also be able to recognise when someone is not ideal for you.
Can you imagine falling in love – only this time it’s with yourself first, and then you attract a partner who reflects that love back to you. When it comes to doing the inner work, Jim Rohn said it perfectly: “I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me."
If you are single and feel it’s time to attract your ideal partner, here are five steps to calling in the love of your life:
1. Release all the limiting beliefs, thoughts, emotional and behavioural blocks to allowing love in.
2. Radical Self Love – open your heart and fall in love with yourself.
3. Get clarity on what you have to offer, what you desire in a partner and the kind of relationship you want to create.
4. Reprogram new thoughts, emotions and behaviours that align with the relationship you want to create.
5. Take action! Taking action without completing the first 4 steps leads to relationships that are exactly like all the past failed relationships.
When you shift internally, open your heart and take action, you will attract a partner like none before.
Email info@nextlevelup.co.za for my free webinar called The 5 Steps to Calling In The Love Of Your life.
*Kas Naidoo is a Life and Relationship Coach / Speaker. For more information, see www.nextlevelup.co.za and Facebook page: Next Level Up