KAS NAIDOO
WHETHER you are a man or a woman, we all have both masculine and feminine energies. Ideally, as women, we want our feminine energy to be slightly dominant and men want their masculine energy to be slightly dominant.
When we are aware of our current energy, we can make appropriate shifts to balance our masculine and feminine and come into a state of wholeness and contentment.
Signs your masculine energy is excessive:
*Overthinking
*Making decisions all day
*Needing to always be in control of yourself, others and circumstances
*Over giving and feeling exhausted as a result. Feeling physically and mentally drained and burnt out
*Overly ambitious and competitive
*Working long hours without much self-care
*Frequently stressed out
*Sometimes even frustrated, angry or abusive to others
Signs your feminine energy is excessive:
*Overly critical; judgmental
*Demanding
*Will manipulate others to get your way
*Sometimes promiscuous to get what you want
*Gives instructions on what others should do and how they need to do it.
*Controlling of others, but not self
*“You need to do what I want to make me happy”
Signs your masculine energy is wounded:
*Cannot make decisions
*May be struggling financially
*Intimidated by strong people
*Cannot provide structure and lacks direction
*Often depressed
*Lack of security and certainty in life
Signs your feminine energy is wounded:
*You feel insecure and unsafe
*Feel like a victim – others are always treating you badly
*“poor me” – always talking about your problems but wanting someone else to rescue you and solve your problems for you.
*You feel like you are not good enough and envy people who have more or are doing more with their lives.
*Gets jealous easily
When we take the time to do the inner work, to balance both our masculine and feminine energies, we come to a place of true authenticity and peaceful power.
We are able to create lives of immense freedom, love, joy, success, vitality and abundance. We thrive both at work and in our personal lives.
A balanced masculine:
*Provides structure and safety
*Is very secure and can give credit to others
*Is a true leader and leads with love, integrity and compassion
*Is a logical thinker and decision maker
*Generous, without depleting their own energy
*Builds people up
*Financially stable
The feminine energy is anything but weak! It is a powerful creative energy; it is intuitive, receptive and in the flow.
A balanced feminine:
*Has a high sense of self-worth and self-love
*Has high standards without judging others
*Values themselves – their body, home, relationships and finances
*Is loving, compassionate and nurturing
*Feels at ease with life – in the flow
*Is very creative – whether it is creating art, decorating a home or starting a new business
*Content with where they are in life, while still making progress
*Builds community – focuses on the greater good for all. This is why a balanced feminine can be an excellent leader.
When your masculine and feminine come into balance, you can achieve so much more, but instead of struggle and burnout; you achieve with ease and grace.
These energies play out in your relationships. An excessive masculine usually attracts a wounded feminine as is the case between an abuser and the abused; the forceful controller and the victim.
An excessive feminine will attract a wounded masculine; so she’s always telling him what to do; pushing him to make decisions and do better. These relationships vary in degrees from mildly irritating but tolerable to highly toxic.
Most women today that are high achievers on the work front, have dominant masculine energy. Unfortunately, in relationships, this repels a man in his masculine energy and will rather call from a man his feminine energy. Some women are comfortable with making more money than her partner and paying the majority of the bills; but for the women who want a strong, masculine man, you need to work on increasing your feminine energy.
A balanced masculine will attract a balanced feminine. That relationship is based on mutual love, respect and support. It’s two people who are not looking for someone to complete them, because they are already complete. They’re not looking for external validation or control. These two are coming together to consciously create a common vision of a relationship of deep love; freedom to be themselves and the mutual support to become the best versions of themselves that they are each capable of being.
So if you want to create a life of success, abundance, vitality and epic relationships; you need to do the inner work to balance your masculine and feminine energies. Look at the qualities of the balanced masculine and balanced feminine and keep making adjustments.
When you catch yourself in your excessive or wounded energy, ask yourself: “What can I do differently in this moment to be more balanced?” Take one characteristic at a time and work on it. For example, If you are over working and feeling burnt out; can you take five minutes every morning to meditate before you start your day? Can you change your self-talk to be kinder to yourself? Can you acknowledge yourself for who you are and what you bring? These small adjustments done consistently, will bring your masculine and feminine energies into balance and you will watch your life transform.
*Kas Naidoo is a relationship coach and matchmaker. To find out more about Naidoo's free assessment to know whether you are masculine or feminine dominant; email: kasturi@telkomsa.net