GIVING their grandchildren the traditional Indian leg bath, burning sambrani (incense), teaching them to pray and to be respectful has been a labour of love for Savy and Gonnasagren Govender.
The Chatsworth grandparents, aged 59 and 63, respectively, have cared for all of their grandchildren, except for Meguel, 9, from the time they were 5 months old.
This included Mia, the daughter of their eldest son Denver and Santino, 3, and Dante, 10 months, the sons of their youngest born, Shaun. Meguel is their sibling.
At the age of 8 months, his parents Subhadra, 31, and Shaun Govender, 32, opted to place him in a crèche.
Shaun told the that initially he was opposed to Meguel being sent to a crèche but his wife convinced him that he needed structure.
Savy said she too was not keen on the decision because she was worried about the hygiene conditions at the crèche, and if Meguel would receive “one-on-one attention”.
Both grandparents also believed that it was important to pass on cultural knowledge and values to the youngsters to retain their heritage and identity.
“Our culture is a part of who we are. If we don’t teach the children these lessons now when they are young, they will never grow into it. That’s not religion. When they grow up they can decide their religious path,” said Savy.
“But the lessons of fasting, praying, obedience and how to be respectful should be taught at home. We are members of the Havenside Gramma Devi Temple and we take the boys with us quite often. Santino is the most enthusiastic of all the grandchildren. He actually takes part in temple proceedings and wants to be involved even though he will only be 3-years-old in July.
“He walks around our house with a brass tray putting ashes on our foreheads because that’s what he sees when he is with us at the temple,” Savy explained.
Besides taking the grandchildren to the temple with them, Savy also gave her grandchildren the traditional “leg bath”, which was timely followed up with a healthy dose of sambrani.
Sambrani is known to have a number of health benefits for a developing child’s health, according to ayurvedic
medicine, including being antiseptic and a disinfectant.
“These things were taught to us by our parents and their parents before them. In today’s world it is hard for young parents to do all of these things because they all work. So we are happy to carry on these traditions. We want them to grow up into well mannered, cultured men and women,” Savy added.
Shaun said he appreciated his parents’ time and effort in raising the boys, especially for the values they had instilled in them. But while the role of his parents eased their burden as a working couple, Shaun said they had noticed a stark difference between Meguel and Santino’s behaviour.
He attributed this to the structure that early schooling provided for Meguel. “When Megeul was 8-months-old, Subhadra wanted to put him in a crèche because she said he needed to learn how to socialise with other children and develop further.
“I was against it at first because I kind of had that old school mindset of ‘we must raise our own children’. But eventually I compromised and we got him into a crèche.
“After a few months we saw a change in Megeul’s behaviour and just how he carried himself.
“Fast forward a couple years to after Santino was born. He was raised by my
parents from the time he was around 6-months-old. He always had his way with them and they obviously spoilt him. He does not listen as well as Meguel did when he was the same age. They are chalk and cheese. Up to this day, Meguel is well mannered while Santino will overpower him even though he’s younger. Meguel is more disciplined because of the structure that school provided from early on,” said Shaun
Shaun said his parents were too soft on the boys compared to how they raised him and his elder brother, Denver.
“They used to give us a hiding every chance they got but now they scold us when we want to smack our children for any wrongdoing,” he said.
But Shaun added that there were hard lessons that he felt only his parents could teach the boys.
“Despite them being too soft, I am glad they are there to teach the boys some of those hard lessons we got as children. Lessons that I only appreciate today as a man with my own family. The main thing my father taught us was to not waste food. I never understood why he was so hard on me, but when I go shopping these days and look at the price of things, I hear his words loudly.
“They also taught us to make do with what we have, and not to ever steal. I want the boys to learn those same things,” he said.
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