Flora Teckie
July 30, observed globally as the International Day of Friendship, is a reminder of the importance of true and lasting friendships.
We all yearn for true friendships and reflect on how to achieve them. Some of us also wonder whether people of other backgrounds can be trusted to be our friends.
Lasting friendships are built on sincerity and trust; on a strong spiritual bond, rather than physical and material attractions. The Bahá'í Writings say: “Be ye sincerely kind, not in appearance only,” and “Do not be content with showing friendship in words alone, let your heart burn with loving kindness for all who may cross your path.”
Our friendships have to be all-embracing and not confined to those from our own race, religion or ethnic group. Millions across the world are suffering from the ravages of conflicts and wars. It is crucial that we look into the causes of conflict and strife. Only by eliminating the underlying reasons can we hope to have lasting and all-embracing friendships and move towards establishing peaceful societies.
Such conflicts arise, usually, because of discrimination and prejudice – of race, nationality, religion, gender or ethnic origin.
The Bahá’í Writings counsel: “Be kind to all people, love humanity, consider all mankind as your relations and servants of the most high God. Strive day and night that animosity and contention may pass away from the hearts of men, that all religions shall become reconciled and the nations love each other so that no racial, religious or political prejudice may remain and the world of humanity behold God as the beginning and end of all existence. God has created all, and all return to God” and “Let not conventionality cause you to seem cold and unsympathetic when you meet strange people from other countries.”
Genuine, universal fellowship is a requirement of true harmony and for realising our unity as humanity. We need to value our diversity and to act as citizens of one common homeland and as members of one human family.
The competitive attitude, prevalent in many aspects of life, trying to come first always and often at the expense of others, promotes separateness rather than harmony and unity.
An important basis for strong and lasting friendships is being worthy of the trust of others. When people know that we keep to our word and that we do what we say we will do, that we practice what we preach, they will naturally trust us. Trust and faithfulness are the basis of all true friendships.
According to the Bahá’í Writings: “Trustworthiness is the greatest portal leading unto the tranquillity and security of the people. In truth the stability of every affair hath depended and doth depend upon it.”
Another requirement of genuine and lasting friendship and fellowship is to be able to share our ideas with kindness and not to dwell on people’s faults or, worse, to broadcast them to others. Rather, we should concentrate our thoughts on love and unity, focus upon the good qualities in people and forgive one another’s shortcomings. One other requirement of true and lasting friendship is serving one another.
The Bahá’í Writings advise us to: “be in perfect unity … associate in friendship; love one another; abandon prejudices of race; dispel forever this gloomy darkness of human ignorance, for the century of light, the Sun of Reality hath appeared. Now is the time for affiliation, and now is the period of unity and concord”.
Teckie is a professional architect, a Bahá’í Faith follower, and spiritual columnist.
The Star