By Kerryn Rehse
According to a 2018 State of South Africa’s Fathers report, women still carry the unfair task of taking care of the full needs of children in most households in South Africa where, for every hour of care work a man does, a woman does eight hours.
Fathers’ Day was an opportunity to reflect on evolving fatherhood from harmful gender norms and stereotypes to a more equitable and engaging version. Engaged fatherhood and men’s participation in the lives of children have positive outcomes for children, women and men themselves.
In addition, studies have shown that an engaged and responsive father can reduce the risk of violence and corporal punishment in the home and in communities because the concept of fatherhood in South Africa reflects an extended network of social relationships between men and children, which includes “social fathers such as uncles, grandfathers and step-parents.
An NGO says the root of men and boys using violence, which often manifests itself through rape, physical, emotional and financial abuse, lies in the need for power, control and in gender stereotypes and toxic ideas of what makes a man.
To counter this, Mosaic, an NGO, engages men and boys through gender sensitisation workshops that focus on unpacking the harmful gender norms and stereotypes that drive and sustain high levels of gender inequality, disengaged and non-responsive fatherhood and gender-based violence (GBV).
The workshops introduce participants to gender and toxic masculinity concepts in an easy-to-understand way and alternative, positive gender norms and masculinities that promote gender equality and male involvement in parenting. They include practical sessions focused on communication and conflict resolution skills.
The programme creates a platform where men and boys learn, unlearn and relearn how to be positive human beings who co-exist with others in a non-violent way. We celebrate fathers, uncles, grandfathers and the positive influence they are on children. We value them, and we want them to know the good that they can do, bringing up a positive, active and engaged youth that will contribute positively to society.
The meaningful engagement of fathers in their children’s lives from an early age is proven to positively impact early development, especially relevant in the first 100 days of a child’s development. Studies have shown that engaged fatherhood during antenatal and in the first 100 days of post-natal care improves breast-feeding rates, increases weight gain in children born prematurely and improves relationships between the parents. Engaged fatherhood applies to both residential and non-residential fathers. An estimated two-thirds of fathers in South Africa don’t live with their children.
Engaged fatherhood is more than just the financial provision for the upkeep of the household or caring for the child. This narrative is devoid of emotional attachment and meaningful interaction. Instead, it creates the idea of an ATM father – there to provide money and little else. This follows the toxic and harmful views of masculinity, the “big boys don’t cry” school of thought.
An engaged father feels responsible for his child, is emotionally engaged, accessible, contributes to sustaining the child’s needs and is involved in childcare and decisions about the child.
*Kerryn Rehse is the Advocacy, Policy and Research Officer at Mosaic Training, Service and Healing Centre, a NGO dedicated to fighting GBV.
**The views expressed here are not necessarily of The Star or IOL.
The Star