By Sharon Gordon
Johannesburg - As we prepare for The Sex Expo in Menlyn on October 13-16, I’m mindful that not everybody feels the same way about sex. This was brought home when I asked fellow gym bunnies to test some product for me. I could have been asking for them to sacrifice their first born.
“Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.” (World Health Organisation 2002)
Sexuality is an integral part of the personality of every human being. Some of us suppress it and some deny it altogether. It always surprises me when we can’t talk about it openly and more importantly honestly.
We ALL need to satisfy our desire for sexual contact, intimacy, emotional expression, pleasure, tenderness and love.
Everyone needs love. We need to realize that love and sexuality are not just for the young and beautiful. The images in adverts, movies and magazines, indoctrinate us into believing that one needs to have perfect teeth, perfect looks and a perfect body to be deserving of love. NOT TRUE.
Everyone deserves love. It is never too late to have a happy and fulfilled relationship. It does not matter if you are in your seventies or eighties, it does not matter if you have a disability or have had a mastectomy. You can still have a great relationship filled with great sex, fun and laughter.
Lovemaking needs two people who care about each other.
Your entire body is an erogenous zone, explore and touch every centimetre of each other’s skin. If you are embarrassed about a part of your body, and I promise you he will not care about the hail damage, keep some clothing on or drape a sheet over that area.
Keeping the lights on can enhance intimacy. I know it’s a big step – but try.
If you are not in a relationship at the moment discover your own body. Learn to love all the bits and discover what feels good. At Lola Montez we have several products that can help you explore, and they don’t have to look like something you don’t want your mother to find.
Toys are not just for singles and as I keep telling you as great for couple play. We’re busy packing loads of different makes and types for the expo I referred to above. One of our big sellers at this event are our ‘Get Lucky Packets’ Many people don’t know what they want or don’t want to own up to it. So, we give them an opportunity to get a surprise. It is a wonderful way to start the conversation around play and what your heart desires.
I highly recommend a trip to the Expo with your partner or a group of friends. Have fun and share your feelings and emotions. You can enjoy your sensuality and sexuality. Talk about your wants and desires. Be brave enough to say a little higher, faster etc.
If you have specific physical or mental problems, speak to a sex therapist or counselor because life is much too short to be having inadequate sex. It is a journey, and you have to start somewhere.
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