By Sharon Gordon
Johannesburg - I’m often asked how to go about spicing up a relationship, especially one that has seen it’s glory days. The flame is all but extinguished. We all want to be loved, desired, feel clever, strong or to feel beautiful.
Much of this can be accomplished with words. So, this #sexcolumn is all about what to say during sex.
First things first, while you are in the throes of sex be kind. Listen for the ‘dolphin’, those squeaks that tell you you’re doing it right or wrong. Sex is a team sport, so you need to communicate. If its right, say things like ‘that’s so good’, or ‘a little faster/ slower/ deeper’.
So here are some of the things that make us go mmm.
You can start with ‘I can feel myself getting hard/ wet for you’. How sexy is that? Isn’t this what we all want to hear?
A personal favorite is a whisper – ‘You smell so good!’ This can be done in a crowded room, at dinner, when you’re on the school run. It can refer to a perfume or not. We all have a smell. It can be very attractive.
‘I love the way you taste’, is another goody. It can be after a kiss, during oral sex or licking an alternative body part.
You need to remind your partner that they are desired when they are not with you. ‘I have not been able to stop thinking about you / last night / this morning. It makes your heart flutter and sets the scene for the next round. This is foreplay 101.
When was the last time you heard ‘You’re irresistible!’ – Never, me too. But it would be nice.
‘Can you see how much you turn me on?’ This is a great line while you’re having dinner. It makes the food taste better and it changes something on the inside. All of a sudden you feel sexier and when you feel sexier, well you know what happens.
We all love affirmation so when you are told ‘You’re so good at that!’ Just don’t fall into the trap of only doing the thing you have been told you’re good at. Expand your repertoire. You need to be good at many things.
Don’t take offense if your partner is brave enough to say you need to change something. You may not be giving the best oral sex, so use the opportunity to learn. Ask for guidance and feedback. Just a heads-up, don’t be cruel. Don’t say it’s the worst you’ve ever had. Rather say I’d like you to …
Do you remember when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? Holding hands, sitting together and touching all the time. Try to remember and then just do it. The accompanying words are ‘I can’t keep my hands off you!’
Timing is everything so don’t do it when your partner is stressed out of their mind and don’t expect to have sex every time you do it because then it is just exhausting. A gentle feel on the ass as you walk past on the way to the laundry works.
And the best word of all – ‘FF****CK’ when everything goes right. Mmmm I just got goose bumps.
I’d love to hear which words do it for you. Don’t forget to comment and please follow us on all our social media platforms.