Johannesburg - I thought that our appetite for BDSM had waned, but I was wrong. For those of you new to this world BDSM is an acronym for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism.
Bondage Play is not necessarily ‘hardcore’. Bondage fantasies are common among many women and men. BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or role playing involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics
Before you start – It is essential that you have a safe word. I think it is one of those things even the most vanilla of us should implement in every aspect of the relationship. It can save you a world of pain.
A safe word (or series of words) is the sign to your partner that you are uncomfortable with what is happening and want to stop. No – is not a good password, because it could be misinterpreted as part of the play. It should be something like RED, which means stop right now. ORANGE could mean I am not sure about this but will go along with it for a while longer.
Your adult toys and accessories can determine how soft or hard you go. While I would love you to be buying your goodies from Lola Montez, you can find many everyday household items work just as well.
Try fluffy handcuffs (or a work tie) and matching blindfolds for an erotic, sensual experience. By being deprived of a sense or two (sight and hand movement) heightens all the other senses including the orgasm.
Or try genuine police cuffs, bondage rope, our leather wrist or ankle cuffs or neck-to-wrist restraints. We even have vegan friendly versions!
Be very careful with anything that goes around the neck, accidents happen, and you do not want your erotic game to kill you!
Whips and paddles can inflict pain or be used very gently to heighten sensation by bringing blood flow to the surface. Try using for faux fur mittens as a contrast sensation.
The pain/pleasure feeling is heightened for some by using nipple clamps. Vibrating nipple clamps add an extra dimension to this play. Remember that men’s nipples are even more sensitive than women.
You can even dress up to complete the bondage fantasy. Any dress up that falls outside your comfort zone will work. The more traditional ones like student and master work well. The last time I was in the UK making your partner wear a puppy mask and a fox tail butt plug was all the rage.
Wearing something that no one else can see heightens sensations. Pearl panties, butt plugs, clamps, remote control eggs, chastity cages and cock rings are some ideas. Find what works for you.
Once you start playing keep your wits about you. It is very easy to get caught up in the moment. Listen to how your partner is feeling and if the safe word is called you stop IMMEDIATELY not just now.
It is important to have complete trust when embarking on BDSM play. I would never play with someone I consider to be a predator, but they are so difficult to spot. Choose wisely.
We recommend that before embarking on this journey you discuss your hard and soft limits. Hard limits are boundaries you are not prepared to cross. Taking a leak on my body is definitely a hard limit. Soft limits are types of play you may not have experienced yet and are open to testing.
Download the Bondage contract off our website to start the discussion. It is full of ideas some of which you never thought of.
On the subject of the website, it is newly published and being populated with content. You will find the Bondage Contract under the Guides section near the bottom of the page.
Play safe and have fun.