"I am a rapist," said a Frenchman accused of drugging his wife for years so that he and dozens of strangers could sexually assault her, his first testimony in a trial that has horrified France.
Dominique Pelicot, 71, begged her forgiveness.
But he said he was no different from 50 other men he recruited online to take part in the sexual abuse, adding they all knew what they were signing up for.
"I am a rapist, like the others in this room," he said, referring to his co-defendants.
"She did not deserve this," he added.
Earlier on Tuesday, Pelicot used a walking stick to slowly enter the courtroom in the southern city of Avignon, where his now ex-wife Gisele was present for the testimony.
With her auburn bob and sunglasses, 71-year-old Gisele has become a feminist icon since she demanded that the trial be made open to the public to raise awareness about the use of drugs to commit sexual abuse.
Pelicot is accused of administering anti-anxiety drugs to his wife over a period of almost a decade, from 2011 to 2020, so that he and others could rape her while she was unconscious, mostly at their home in the small southern town of Mazan.
He has admitted the charges but Tuesday was the first time he spoke at any length since the trial began on September 2.
He recounted having a "difficult" childhood, saying his parents "assaulted each other".
He briefly mentioned the "traumatic" experiences of being raped when he was nine years old and again on a construction site where he was an apprentice.
"I always carried these traumatising events with me," he said, his eyes welling up and his voice shaking.
"You're not born this way. You become it."
'I must pay for it'
His ex-wife, who obtained a divorce from him last month, remained stoic as he spoke, then took the stand herself.
"Not for a single second did I doubt this man," she said.
"I loved this man for 50 years. I would have sacrificed my own two hands for him."
Her former husband asked her for forgiveness.
"I am guilty of what I have done. I beg my wife, my children, my grandchildren... to accept my apologies. I ask for forgiveness, even though it is unacceptable," he said.
"I messed it all up... I must pay for it."
He also presented his apologies to another woman, whose husband and he are accused of raping her using the same modus operandi.
"This is a confessional trial," said Pelicot's lawyer Beatrice Zavarro. "It will continue like this, you can be sure of it. At the end of this trial we will know everything about Dominique Pelicot," she told reporters.
Pelicot said he "never touched" his two sons and daughter, although investigators found naked pictures of his daughter and intimate photos of his two daughters-in-law on his computer, taken without their knowledge.
He was only found out in 2020 after he was caught filming up women's skirts in a supermarket.
Police discovered he had meticulously documented the abuse of his wife, stored in files on his computer.
"There was a certain pleasure to it," he said of the filing, "but it was also a sort of guarantee."
He pointed out that it had helped track down suspects, causing several co-defendants to look up or smile nervously.
Fireman, nurse, journalist
Investigators listed 72 men suspected of having taken part in abusing Gisele Pelicot other than her husband.
They succeeded in identifying 50, aged from 26 to 74, all of whom are on trial.
Pelicot's testimony is expected to be decisive for all these co-defendants, four of whose cases are set to be heard in the coming days.
Some of the accused have admitted he told them he was drugging his then-wife, while others claim they believed they were participating in a swinger couple's fantasy.
Seventeen are in custody, as is Pelicot himself, while 32 other defendants are attending as free men.
One co-defendant is being tried in absentia.
The suspects include a fireman, a male nurse, a prison guard and a journalist.
The case has prompted outrage across France, with thousands demonstrating in cities at the weekend to demand an end to rape.
Pelicot was excused from hearings for much of last week for health reasons and did not attend court on Monday.
But he returned to the dock on Tuesday after a green light from doctors, with his lawyer saying he would be allowed "regular rest".
AFP