When people think of gaslighting, they may only associate it with romantic or personal relationships, but this type of abuse can seep into numerous areas, even work.
The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1938 British drama Gas Light, in which a husband tricks his wife into thinking she is insane by subtly altering the intensity of the gas lights in their home while she is alone. He uses this to make her feel she can't rely on herself or her memories.
So, gaslighting is influencing someone by employing psychological techniques to make them doubt their own sanity or reasoning abilities.
Coping with a co-worker who gaslights you might be difficult, but it's critical to approach the matter constructively and assertively, said the chief executive of ICHAF Training Institute, Devan Moonsamy.
Moonsamy offered some steps to consider when dealing with this behaviour:
Recognise gaslighting
Understand what gaslighting is and how to spot it when it occurs. Denial, trivialisation, blame-shifting, and doubting your sanity or or ability to recall are common gaslighting strategies.
Maintain self-awareness
Believe in your intuition and emotions. Recognise your feelings and ideas as real if you believe you are being lied to.
Document the behaviour
Keep a record of any situations in which your co-worker participates in gaslighting.
Take note of the date, time, place, and what was said or done. If you need to address the issue formally, this documentation might be useful.
Limit interaction
When feasible, avoid needless encounters with such colleagues. Reduced interaction can assist safeguard your well-being if their actions is badly affecting you.
Seek help
Discuss the matter with trusted friends, family members, or co-workers. They can offer emotional support, and their viewpoint may help you justify your own.
Confront calmly
Calmly address the gaslighter about their actions when you feel comfortable and secure doing so.
Use “I” in sentences to explain how you feel about their behaviour. “I am frustrated when you dismiss my ideas during meetings,’’ for example.
Set personal limits
Clearly define personal limits with the co-worker. Inform them of the improper actions and that you expect to be treated respectfully.
Document discussions
If you have a talk with your colleague about the gaslighting behaviours, document the interaction, including what was said and any agreements reached.
Involve a supervisor or human resources
If the gaslighting persists and has an impact on your job or well-being, consider escalating the situation to your supervisor or human resources department.
Display your documentation and communicate your worries about a hostile work environment.
Understand your rights
Familiarise yourself with workplace harassment and bullying rules and legislation.
You have the right to work in a safe and courteous workplace.
Self-care
Prioritise self-care to deal with the stress and emotional toll of gaslighting.
Exercise, meditation, or hobbies that promote relaxation and well-being are all good places to start.
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