Deep breath in. Hold. Be calm and mindful. Breath out. Repeat.
It sounds so simple, but many people find it very difficult to settle down for a “planned” session of mindfulness or meditation.
The more natural state is to get lost in thought, or non-thought. One of my best friends and colleagues, the late Bob Cooper, used the most accurate descriptionr: “Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.”
The most soul-restoring escapes come when your mind wanders, or you dissociate. In its mild and perfectly normal form, we probably do it a few times a day. It’s a little unexpected puddle of tranquillity in the roiling seas of our days.
You can find it in the pages of a good book when you suddenly come back to real life and are startled to find you’re not in the frozen wastes of an engrossing dark Scandinavian thriller but rather in the South African heat, for example.
It can happen when you’re staring into the loving gaze of an adored dog, suddenly realising the long heartfelt declaration of him being the best dog that ever lived could maybe sound a little strange if anyone else heard it.
If you’re of a mind and are expert enough not to lose fingers, I imagine it could happen when you’re doing a rote chore in the kitchen like chopping onions. It’s a great way to get through washing the dishes.
It is very dangerous when driving, when you go into automaton mode and suddenly find you’re at your destination with no clear recollection of getting there. No awareness of your surroundings or the stupid things other dissociates may do. Not recommended at all.
But meditation or mindfulness is something millions of people do on purpose. The Cambridge dictionary says it is the state of being aware of your body, mind and feelings in the moment, acknowledging and accepting them without judgement, reaction or being overwhelmed.
The website mindful.org says it can be done while you’re sitting, walking, standing, moving and even playing sport. Or lying down, but, it warns, this can lead to sleep. Can’t see the problem there.
I sort of tried, but nothing doing. Once, it was in a beautiful but extremely cold room and there was a cow noisily chewing right outside the floor-to-ceiling window. That sound was supplemented by a very loud anorak that crinkled every time I tried to use a soggier and soggier tissue to deal with an ice-induced runny nose. The harder I tried, the more I just landed up in stifled giggles. It was not silent and I eventually had to flee for the sanity of the real meditators.
Other attempts were equally dismal.
There are just too many thoughts to think and questions from the universe to ask and try to answer. Too many plans to make and too many worries about paying the bills. Too many dogs demanding cuddles or barking at those who dare pass our way.
I’ll take my stress-relieving wanders when they happen, when I just sits. Except for behind the wheel when we all need to be extra mindful.
Now excuse me while I “resocciate” and go read from the top.
- Lindsay Slogrove is Independent on Saturday’s news editor.
The Independent on Saturday