Durban - Dogs, bruh. That’s not how we spell it, but the phrase has been popping up all over social media on amazing or funny pictures and videos of furry pups taken by locked-down citizens around the world.
They’re the best companions for these trying times.
My five truly don’t care if I slop around in slippers all day. Or if there are dishes in the sink - I only make about three a day and, in the interests of saving water, they get done as and when. Ditto showers - every other day is just fine with them.
If I have nothing to say, and spend the day talking to myself in my head, that’s perfectly okay, as long as they get cuddles and a belly rub when they swop out the dog seats that flank mom’s spot on the couch. Even the Big Boss, Zeus the boerboel, occasionally gives up his right-hand-man position for one of the others. But they know to move when he comes back.
They do not have a sense of irony, however; when it’s time to change the couch “bed linen” because they have made it a hairy sand box, there is much accusation and pained expressions when they get booted off.
They also don’t so much as raise an eyebrow when a furball drifts across the floor in a breeze. The broom gets wafted around when there are four or more.
Having a slob for a mom is not on their list of concerns, and that zen-like attitude seems to be contagious.
With zero chance of a pop-in visitor, the spiders are happy in their webs and dust bunnies roam freely.
When mom has to go
hunt-and-gather in the grocery store (those queues!), it can take two or three hours. The return of “the Great Feeder” is met with rejoicing and running and barking and other general signs of ecstasy. I dread the separation anxiety when office hours are reinstated.
To disabuse you of the notion that they’re a bunch of furry freeloaders, they more than do their bit around the house.
The monkeys have learned they’re more than welcome to all the delights in my jungle-garden as long as they stay high up, and the home invasions are down to zero.
The pack also protects our turf vociferously and from everything. Woe to anyone who speaks to me from that little box, and many ears are twitched and snarls emitted if a dog dares to bark, growl or yelp on YouTube.
Their body clocks are Swiss made; they KNOW when a visit to the kitchen is for a cup of tea, or when it’s time for their treat.
And their noses never lie: they could smell peanut butter toast from the International Space Station.
The UK is making the most of the doggy nose by researching whether canines can crack
Covid-19. A few are being tested to see if they can smell active virus on a person. Early results are positive, and they could be ready to be put to work in that country by September. Test, track and trace in one furball.
Nothing to sniff at, that. Dogs, bruh.
PS Please don’t get one just as a lockdown companion: you must be ready to commit to years of love and care. Remember, this will end and you will get on with life. Make sure that life will give them what they give you.
- Slogrove is the news editor
The Independent on Saturday