OPINION: Opposing polygamy is hypocritical ‘due to a global shortage of eligible men, many women struggle financially’

Yagyah Adams writes that due to a global shortage of eligible men, many women struggle financially. Yet few consider the honest but needy woman and her children. Often, if a woman is a second wife in a financially and secured contracted marriage, she is judged as a husband stealer. When the women ask family for help they are measured as a burden. If they prostitute, they are condemned to hell by those who refuse to help. File picture

Yagyah Adams writes that due to a global shortage of eligible men, many women struggle financially. Yet few consider the honest but needy woman and her children. Often, if a woman is a second wife in a financially and secured contracted marriage, she is judged as a husband stealer. When the women ask family for help they are measured as a burden. If they prostitute, they are condemned to hell by those who refuse to help. File picture

Published May 7, 2023

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To question and probe social norms is vital as it highlights the limits and ironies in the human intellect.

For example, two men can marry, dress like and claim to be women. Also, a teen girl can abort as many babies as she wants or have several children from different men and the taxpayer covers the full cost.

When anyone says homosexuality is condemned by the Torah, Bible and Qur’an, some are enraged and freedom of opinion and expression is forgotten and hate speech is hastily alleged.

When a woman sells intimacy for cash, people rush to judgment, as if a person would willingly subject themselves to such indignity. Please note, I am not arguing for legalised prostitution but simply stressing the conflict within our collective moral consciousness. Since some share intimacy after dinner and a movie, what is the difference? Is it the number of men or the intimacy for direct cash?

In prophetic times, marriage was a contract where a man bought exclusive rights to his wife’s body. Since nobody can control another person’s thoughts and feelings, intimacy was the line in the sand.

In return, the man, his family, village and tribe, had a duty to maintain and defend the woman. This is the general approach of the Torah, Bible, Qur’an and most faiths and cultures. Men had options and could marry more than one wife or marry for a contractual period, depending on affordability.

For example, an architect in Istanbul receives a job contract in Cairo for two years. He could marry in Cairo, with a finance and time specific contract and return to his family in Istanbul when the contract ends. Since some abused this right, the second Caliph Umar banned marriages based on time-specific contracts.

Today, a man has several girlfriends without financial duty and he is considered a “player” by some. Also, some women know their husbands cheat and allow this as long as he doesn’t marry a second wife.

Due to a global shortage of eligible men, many women struggle financially. Yet few consider the honest but needy woman and her children. Often, if a woman is a second wife in a financially and secured contracted marriage, she is judged as a husband stealer. When the women ask family for help they are measured as a burden. If they prostitute, they are condemned to hell by those who refuse to help.

Who must take responsibility for these dignified, lonely, deprived women and their children?

How can homosexuality be okay when it is banned by the Torah, Bible and Qur’an but polygamy, which is ratified by all Holy Scriptures is criticised? When and who decided on these new behavioural codes?

Just asking for a friend.

* Cape Muslim Congress councillor Yagyah Adams.

** The views expressed here are not necessarily those of Independent Media.

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