This week I want to look at the word ombudsman. This is a government official appointed to receive and investigate complaints made by individuals against abuses or capricious acts of public officials. In an extended way, it could mean that he is one who investigates, reports on and helps settle complaints.
As is my habit, I will list synonyms in order to help explain the concept to make it accessible and meaningful. These include regulator, watchdog, monitor, supervisor, inspector, observer, auditor, scrutineer, adviser and guardian.
As a rule, reconciliation is achieved through the strategies of mediation or recommendations. Mostly, the ombudsman’s services are free for individuals, but if payment is involved, it would take the form of levies and case fees.
Looking at the range of the similes, one can see how there can easily be a conflict of interest when the help of an ombudsman is required.
If he is government-appointed, how can one be sure of a fair hearing and advice when one thinks of the present level – or lack – of veracity in the present government?
The most nefarious and slippery articulation of ambiguity resides in the omnipresent cautionary words: “terms and conditions apply”. In this part of a document legitimating an agreement, there are rabbit holes and escape hatches which make it hard to exact retribution when things don’t pan out.
Part of the strategy is for the terms and conditions to be printed in the smallest possible font. Then there is the obfuscation of legalese that leaves the reader dizzy and confused.
The seller or agent patiently waits for your signature, knowing full well that you either don’t want to read all that jargon, you don’t understand and yet won’t admit to that or you feel guilty making him wait when he personally has assured you that the deal is “safe”.
The truth is that, ironically, the denser the terms and conditions appear, the more likely the unwary are to believe that they are on safe ground.
When my wife died just over five years ago, I discovered that we had (unwisely then and now) made the bank, who was our bond holder, the executor of our estate in the event of one or both of us passing. Today, I regret the decision in spades.
At the time, we were happy to agree to the suggestion, which came from the bank itself.
The past seven months have been the veritable harrowing of hell for me because the bank could exact a 3.4% fee from me for acting as executor. I fought tooth and nail when I realised that this entailed a cost of six figures because the original house had expanded, as did the bond, and the file that covered every extension and purchase of movable accoutrements.
The more we spent improving our physical comforts, the deeper the hole we were unknowingly digging. When my wife passed and the bank called in their card, I was gobsmacked and didn’t, like the character in The Clockwork Orange, know whether to sh*t or go blind, or both.
I was shocked out of my blood group, my religion, my gender orientation and my ability to breathe without a paper bag
The situation has been resolved after seven horrendous months of dedication, readjustment, sacrifice and downright humiliation. The bank remains intractable, intransigent, inflexible and downright hairy in their insistence on their piece of the pie. Hence my subject for this week.
Beware of the terms and conditions. Find out where the ombudsmen are. The Cape Argus of May 16 has brilliant advice on the matter. Do not go through the suffering. I have already suffered for you. Protect yourself. Find your ombudsman.
As a final shot, I can now validate, after more than five years of writing these columns, my exhortation to my readers to read, read and read some more. In the end, it will save you a lot of grief and irritation. And maybe some money.
* Alex Tabisher.
** The views expressed here are not necessarily those of Independent Media.
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